Healing of the mind
by marbienl
Summary: Sequel to Friends of old and Aftermath. Estel (Aragorn) was hurt terribly by a human and now he fears to trust other Men. Will the arrival of a certain ranger change that?
1. 1

Title: Healing of the mind  
  
Summary: _sequel to Aftermath._ Estel (Aragorn) was hurt terribly by a human and now he fears to trust other Men. Will the arrival of a certain ranger change that?  
  
Disclaimer: not mine… never will be. They belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. I just take them out to play with once in a while. :)  
  
A/N: Sorry I left AP hanging again, I just couldn't focus on it until I had written this one – I will return to it as soon as I have finished this – tops: end March, I promise. Wow man – I intended to post this nearly four weeks ago, but I just didn't find time to finish it! But anyhoos – I was reading Aftermath and Friends of old the other day (I should say month by now) and I thought – hmm, I always leave them with sort of a sad feeling. So I then decided to write a last part to Aftermath – the sequel in which things will brighten up for our young human (or will they?). You might want to read those other two stories if you haven't already, or it may be confusing to read. Thanks to all those who replied to certain questions I had – hope you enjoy the story!  
  
Oh yeah – I had intended this to only be one chapter, but there was so much I wanted to put into this, so it has been divided into two chapters. Part two is written for about 80%, I just need to find time to finish it. 

Thoughts or emphasis are in _italics_ – it should be easy enough to figure out what's what.  
  
Warning: only a small one I guess – this deals with emotional stuff and refers to rape, but that's all…  
  
~~~  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Time had passed slowly ever since the day that had ruined the trust of a young man. It was nearing summer now and the days grew longer and warmer… the cling of winter to the morning air had faded and the trees proudly showed off their new leaves in full glory.   
  
For a long time, Estel couldn't appreciate the singing of the birds in the morning, or the singing of the elves that lived in Imladris. Dark thoughts often invaded the boy's mind and it was only by talking to his family and friends that the menacing voice in his head stilled its taunts and accusations.  
  
Estel often sat in his room, sitting near the window with a book in his lap and reading… At the urging of his father, Estel read books on the history of men and the Dunédain – telling the boy that goodness was in human's nature as well, not only the evil of a few. Sometimes, his gaze would stray outside and he would remain like that for some time. At least once a day an elf would enter the room, usually Legolas, and ask him to join him and the others. The human would then slowly turn his gaze on his friend and blink several times before moving from his place and following him – sometimes choosing not to follow at all though.   
  
Today Estel was sitting in his room and staring at the far horizon again. He just had one of his talks with his father and he was mulling things over when a knock sounded on his door. Softly calling an 'enter', the twins and Legolas entered.  
  
"Are you ready, Estel?" Elladan asked. They had been planning to go outside and enjoy the weather, but seeing the dark mood their little brother was in both the twins feared he would not want to join them.  
  
Seeing Estel slowly shake his head confirmed that fear and concerned, Elrohir sat down on his haunches before him with his hands on his knees – careful not to touch his brother since Estel did not want that.  
  
"Come on Estel! It would do you good to go outside with us." Elrohir said.  
  
"You cannot spend these wonderful days reading in your chambers! Or staring outside the entire time… You need to go out and feel the sun on your face again!" Elladan said.  
  
Estel snorted. Wonderful days! But then he thought about it… He wanted to go outside, he really did. He wanted to visit the place where he always found peace when he needed it. Where he could sit beneath the trees and look at the water with no elf in sight – only the sound of the woods and its inhabitants keeping him company. Estel clenched his jaw tightly. That place had been stolen from him. Never would he feel that peace again, not there… not anywhere else for ever would he dread being taken by surprise by a human.  
  
"Practice sword fighting?" he asked Elladan – his voice only just above a whisper. Estel didn't care that it sounded too much like a plea; he wanted to practice until he was the best swordfighter in Middle Earth.   
  
Elladan nodded, but his gaze strayed to the sword next to the chair (it never left Estel's side anymore) to the boy's boot where the elf knew he had hidden a small knife that was easy to reach if it was needed. Not letting his thoughts show, he quickly responded. "All right, let's practice today then."  
  
Elrohir smiled slightly that they had managed to get Estel to leave the house, even if it _was_to practice. The sun would do his little brother good. Estel had grown too pale and though he ate he had not gained back the weight he had lost, but he was slowly healing. The youngest twin needed to see his brother getting better, for he himself still suffered from the memories he had seen… The things that bastard had done to his little brother… how the older human had left him behind… Elrohir sadly shook his head and cursed the fact that the memories of elves were long and sharp.  
  
~~~  
  
The four walked to the gardens in silence. The easy banter that had taken place in the past had been absent of late, for Estel wasn't ready yet. The elves talked to the boy quietly when they sat with him in his room, trying to understand his feelings and hoping that by talking about it to them, the burden of his memories would become easier to bear. Outside these talks, they didn't really know how to act towards the human for he no longer acted like the Estel they remembered.  
  
It had become obvious to the elves that Estel blamed himself for what had happened. They sometimes heard him muttering 'stupid' over and over again before one entered his room. When Elladan had questioned him one day, the human had replied that he felt stupid to have put his trust into someone he didn't know. That the man in question had been counted a friend of his father didn't seem to matter to the boy and no matter how often the other elves would tell him he was not to blame, Estel was obstinate in his resolve.  
  
Estel walked further into the garden and closed his eyes as he let the sun's warmth caress his face. He hadn't realized how much he had missed to be outside again and deep inside he was happy that neither his brothers nor his friend would give up on him.  
  
"I missed her warmth…" Estel said, meaning the sun that was still on her way up in the sky, "I missed the wind moving through my hair…"  
  
Legolas smiled gently at that as he looked at the unruly locks dancing in the wind. Estel still kept his hair short, though not as short as it had been when he had cut it several weeks ago. The Man's hair was about one inch in growth – longer than Estel would really want, but Elrond and he had reached a compromise.  
  
They had all been shocked when Estel had entered the dining room that day with his hair closely cropped. The being before them had seemed a different person, but now it seemed as if the old Estel was emerging again. Not only in looks, but in character as well; it just would take some time.  
  
Estel turned towards Elladan. "Shall we start?"  
  
Nodding, Elladan unsheathed his own sword and waited until Estel was ready. They sparred for quite some time, Elrohir and Legolas sitting in the shade of a tree watching them.  
  
~~~  
  
"He has improved, has he not?" Legolas more stated than asked, referring to Estel in general and not his skills with the sword.  
  
Elrohir looked at his little brother and saw the way he fought. "He has," he confirmed, "though it will be a long time before he will break down those walls he has put around himself. Look at the way he spars with Elladan…"  
  
Legolas looked more attentively, trying to figure out what Elrohir tried to tell him. Then he noticed the difference: Elladan's moves were swift and calculating, whereas Estel's moves were hasty and powerful. "He is striking out in anger, using strength more than tactic to try and win."  
  
Elrohir nodded. "He cannot vent his anger on the one who deserves it, so he uses Elladan as a surrogate."  
  
"But he is not aware of it; if he was he would stop immediately!" Legolas came to his friend's defence.  
  
The Noldor elf smiled slightly. "And that is why Elladan allows him to do it. Estel needs to expel his anger so the next stage can begin."  
  
Seeing the confused look, Elrohir explained, "Healing comes in stages that need to be conquered, my friend. First denial, then sadness, anger and last… fear." The young twin clenched his jaw, his hands balled to fists, "Amme could not get over her fear and she chose to leave us."  
  
Legolas gently clasped his friend's shoulder. "Estel will not leave us, Elrohir. Have faith in him."    
  
Elrohir didn't reply to that. It wasn't that he didn't have faith in his little brother, he was afraid to trust that faith again after it had deserted him with his mother…  
  
In silence, the two continued watching the pair sparring.  
  
~~~  
  
"Very good, little one, now see if you can block this one!" Elladan exclaimed, raising his sword to strike again.  
  
At hearing those words, Estel stumbled backwards. Raising his eyes to his brother, for a small moment, he saw Nemo standing before him and grinning evilly.   
  
Elladan halted his blow just in time thanks to his elven reflexes, a questioning look in his eyes. Yet when Estel looked back at him, a scowl had replaced the absent look.   
  
Legolas, realizing something had upset the boy, stood up from his spot under the tree and walked over to his friend. He moved to rest his hand on the human's upper arm… silently asking the same question as Elladan, but Estel recoiled from the elf's touch even before the hand had touched his skin. He did not like to be touched… every time someone did or tried to it made his skin crawl… he could feel invisible fingers tracing his arms and moving over his entire body. No – he didn't think he could stand being touched ever again!  
  
Well, that was not entirely true. There was one person whom he didn't shy away from; his father, but that was only because the elder elf moved slowly around his youngest son – making his intentions clear to the boy.   
  
Yet to hear those words coming from his brother's mouth was too much! Angry, Estel pushed Legolas away and took up the sword fight, his strokes getting desperate and more forceful. Elladan had to quicken his own pace so he didn't get hurt.  
  
"Estel." Legolas called. When there was no answer, the blonde elf shouted, "Estel! Stop it!"  
  
It didn't seem that Estel heard him or if he did, he paid his friend's call no heed. Elladan swiftly distanced himself from the attacking human and called for him to stop as well. It was only when Elladan managed to knock Estel's sword out of his hands that Estel did as he was told. Puzzled, he watched the elves watching him. Elrohir looked saddened, Elladan confused, but Legolas… Estel couldn't figure out which emotion ruled the prince at the moment.   
  
"What happened just then, Estel?" The prince demanded, his hands on his hips like he was a mother scolding her child. Several times before Estel had lashed out at them using hurtful words, as if he wanted to push them away, but never before had he attacked in this manner. Something had set the boy off and Legolas was determined to find out what that was. "Tell us… so it will not happen again, my friend." The fair haired elf's voice had quieted and he held out his arm imploringly.  
  
"Do not call me that…" The human whispered, his voice trembling.  
  
This confused the elves even more. Seeing the bewilderment in their eyes, Estel sighed deeply before explaining.   
  
"Little one. It is… he…" Breathing in deeply, he forced himself to say it, "_He_ called me that, as he… t-touched… m-me… I cannot bear to hear his mocking words!"  
  
Elladan turned his gaze to the ground in shame. Before this all had happened, his little brother hadn't liked to be called 'little one' either and yet every time he had continued harassing him. Now he had gone too far.  "Forgive me, Estel."   
  
A sad smile appeared on the boy's face then as he reached out to his oldest brother. As long as he initiated the contact, he could bare to touch others. Lifting his brother's chin with one finger, he eased the elf's mind, "It is alright now Elladan… you did not know. I was wrong to take out my anger on you. I am sorry."  
  
The older elf smiled slightly. It seemed that Estel was ready for the last stage now: conquering his fear. "You are forgiven."   
  
Picking up his sword, Estel asked, "Shall we finish this? The right way this time?"  
  
Elladan merely raised an eyebrow before bringing up his own sword again. "Certainly…"  
  
~~~  
  
Some time after, Elrohir was sparring with Elladan. Estel sat next to Legolas on the ground, watching the quick movements of his brothers. The young Man remembered the times when he was still a child and had watched them. He had marvelled at their speed and their graceful movements. They had seemed to dance, not fight, but Estel was not fooled anymore. He watched them and memorized their movements – he could use them himself if he got involved in a fight.  
  
"The twins have taught you well, Estel. I would say the student has grown better than his teachers."  
  
Estel snorted. "I have a suspicion that when I win, it is only because one of them decides to let me. You should know not to be fooled by their antics and their behaviour. They are great warriors with even bigger hearts."  
  
"Do not be so certain that they let you win, Estel. I am sure that when you were younger they indeed decided to let you be the victor, but now that you have grown they would not have the heart to trick you like this, causing you to misjudge your skills. Belonging to the Eldar does not mean that they cannot be beaten by a human…"  
  
Estel bit his lip, hating to be reminded that he was exactly that – a human.  
  
The sparring stopped all of a sudden and the twins turned their heads towards the gates of Imladris. Estel followed their gaze and saw a rider trotting up to the front doors. He squinted, trying to make out who it was, but his eyesight was not as good as his companions'.  
  
Wondering what had made the brothers stop their sparring, Legolas turned around as well. A rider in a grey cloak was slowly trotting up to the doors of the Last Homely House. Once there, the figure dismounted and threw off his hood. Legolas saw that it was a human and distrust replaced the look on his face. He looked at the twins, wondering how they reacted to the intruder.  
  
Elladan and Elrohir didn't seem disturbed with a human entering their home. Their eyes even seemed to light up in recognition. Seeing that the twins seemed to trust this human, Legolas mentally shrugged his shoulders. He would wait and see.  
  
Estel realized by the looks on the faces of his elven companions that the person was no elf – that left it to be a human. His grey eyes turned cold as they followed the figure entering the house. What was a human doing within the borders of Imladris?  
  
~~~  
  
After the arrival of the Man, the four decided to return inside. Elladan and Elrohir had seemed joyful by this unexpected visit, so this led Estel to believe they knew the person. He didn't ask anything and they didn't think to tell him anything either, seeming to forget it in their excitement. The young Man sighed – would his father want him to meet this _friend_ as well?   
  
The four split up – Legolas, sensing that Estel would want to be alone for a while, joined the twins to Elrond's study as Estel returned to his room. He was not ready to face the Man. If he was summoned he _might_ come, but now he first wanted to change into fresh clothes and soak in warm water for a while.  
  
Estel entered his room and looked in his mirror on his way to fill the tub. He didn't like the figure that stared back at him, the person he saw was weak… yet he tried, he tried so hard to overcome his weakness. The dark mood that had been lifted after sparring with his brother had returned and he silently reprimanded himself again for having been so stupid.  
  
He quickly filled the tub with warm water and locked the door to his room. He didn't use to lock it, not even when he had feared that his brothers had been up to something, but now the action had turned automatic. It made him feel safer while he was at his most vulnerable. Once filled, Estel carefully lowered himself into it. One hand unconsciously went to his shoulder, where a scar would ever mar his skin.  
  
When the water grew cold Estel quickly got out of the tub and dressed. After unlocking his door, he seated himself in the chair near the window, gazing out at the far horizon once more and waiting for someone to knock on his door…   
  
~~~  
  
The three young elves had moved directly to Elrond's study where they suspected to find both the newcomer and the elder elf. They were not disappointed as they opened the door.  
  
A smile broke out on the twin's faces. Elrohir held out his arms and the human stepped into them, returning the hug.   
  
Elladan clapped his shoulder as if he had known the human for some time. "Well met! I am glad you decided to come and visit us!"   
  
Legolas remained at a distance, watching the twins and the human. It was a young boy – only slightly older than Estel perhaps. Legolas frowned. _Those__eyes…_ The Man nearly had the same grey eyes Estel did. When the twins released the newcomer, their eyes met and Legolas froze. The eyes indeed were nearly identical – even taking in the slightly haunted look that lay carefully hidden.   
  
Elrond stepped between them, giving the introduction. "Legolas, meet Halbarad, ranger of the North. Halbarad, meet prince Legolas of Mirkwood."  
  
Halbarad touched his fist to his heart and swept his arm out in front of him, bowing slightly to show his respect. "I consider it an honour to make your acquaintance, my Lord. Halbarad – at your service."   
  
Legolas raised an eyebrow. This human certainly showed he had manners, but until he knew more about him he decided to remain distant. "Well met." He replied instead, not giving the right reply.  
  
Halbarad nearly rolled his eyes at the distrust he could feel emanating from the blonde elf.  
  
Sensing that Legolas would not respond well to the human unless he had been informed who he was, Elrond decided to send the human off to his chambers.   
  
"Surely you must be tired, Halbarad, for you have travelled far to answer my summons. Refresh yourself in your chambers if you like – a servant will show you the way and bring you whatever you wish. Join us in the evening meal…"  
  
Realizing that he was being dismissed, Halbarad bowed slightly to Elrond. "Then I will take my leave of you, Lord Elrond." As he left the room, he smiled at the twins and hesitantly nodded at Legolas.  
  
As soon as the door had closed behind the human, Elrond gently scolded the younger elf with a look. Seeing the distrust in the clear blue eyes, he thought it was time for Legolas to know who Halbarad was…  
  
~~~  
  
Estel snapped out of his trance like state some time later and realized he missed something. He hadn't been summoned – yet – to meet the human and for that he was thankful. He needed some time to come to terms with this new intruder. He stood up and not really knowing where he was heading, his feet started moving him from the room and brought him to the small library. The big library was in his father's study, but Estel knew that the human would most likely be there right now. The small library however contained books from the twins' and Estel's childhood. But there was one book in particular that he had set his mind to get…  
  
Estel quickly entered the library, hoping to avoid the others and quietly closed the door. Like he had done so many times when he had been a small child, he walked to a low shelf. His eyes searched the old books until he finally found a small, relatively new book. Smiling slightly, Estel picked it up and held it tightly. It contained stories written by a Hobbit… When Estel had been ten years old, Bilbo Baggins of the Shire had entered Imladris accompanied by a number of dwarves. That his father had allowed the dwarves to enter his house still astonished him to this day – elves were not known to suffer the company of the stunted people, as they sometimes called them.   
  
Late one night, when a little boy should have been in bed, Estel had visited the Hall of Fire and heard the Halfling singing funny songs. They had been so different than elvish singing – even the ones the fair beings sung in jest. Elrond, having seen the hidden boy and the happy smile, had asked Bilbo to write them down for his youngest. Happily, the Halfling had complied – he had even written down small stories with pictures on the side to entertain the child.  
  
Now Estel needed the light heartedness of a people so different yet similar in a way to the ones he was in between. He wanted to seat himself in the chair in the corner to read his favourite story, when he noticed the dark silhouette across from him.  
  
Heart in his throat, Estel drew his sword from his side and held it towards the form.   
  
The figure slowly moved from the shadows, turning out to be the human. The young ranger held his hands outward, showing he was no threat. "Peace, friend." He spoke quietly, "I mean you no harm. My name is Halbarad, at your service. I am a ranger from the North. Lord Elrond invited me and has long ago named me elf-friend. His sons call me their friend as well as do I them…"  
  
Estel narrowed his eyes and studied the human before him as if he was no better than an orc. "Friend he calls himself that hides in the dark like a thief," he sneered.  
  
Halbarad snorted, seeing that this human was just as distrusting as the blonde elf. "And why do _you_ sneak in here like one? Avoiding me and the others I would nearly suspect… It was you I saw with the other elves earlier on, was it not?"  
  
From the stories Elladan and Elrohir had been telling him, Halbarad knew that a human lived in Imladris – their foster brother. What he saw before him didn't match the stories however; the stories had spoken of someone full with laughter, someone who easily trusted others and who would welcome any friend of theirs. What he saw was a gaunt, haunted looking person that didn't seem open to meet new people. _What happened to you?_ The young ranger wondered.  
  
Estel threateningly stepped up to the elder Man, looking into grey eyes eerily similar to his own. "Do _not_ speak to me in that tone! You are a 'guest' of Elrond. Act like one!"  
  
But Halbarad, angered by this treatment, would not be quieted. "And _you_ are his son! I would expect some hospitality from my hosts!"  
  
Surprised that this human seemed to know who he was, Estel stumbled backwards. "No…" An anguished whispered escaped his throat. Then he ran from the room, dropping the book to the floor.  
  
The young ranger was left behind in the small library, confused by this sudden turn of events. He picked up the book Estel had dropped and read its cover, not really seeing it though for his mind whirled with questions.  _What did just happen?  
  
_~~~  
  
Estel, hurt by this seeming betrayal of his father (he had, after all allowed the insolent human to enter), hurried to find the ancient elf. He found him in the study speaking to the twins and Legolas. The young human stepped up to his father, betrayal burning in his eyes.  
  
"How could you invite a _human_, Ada? After… How do you know he is not the same as… as… him!" Estel could not say the name of his tormentor. Every night, his dreams were filled with the horrible memories… the touches… Estel shivered and when he looked his father in the eyes again a different light blazed in the grey orbs. Betrayal was replaced and the fear Estel felt at this new intruder was hidden by the fire of hatred.   
  
Mentally, Elrond sadly shook his head at that gaze. He knew that Estel's trust in humans would have to be restored and that it would not happen in a day or even a week. And it would take even longer if his youngest didn't meet other humans, something that would not happen since the boy refused to leave the borders of his home. Hence the elf lord had thought it a good idea to invite Halbarad.   
  
The young man had only joined the rangers six years ago when he had been eighteen years old. The twins had met the Man just before he had joined and were actually the reason for it. After that they had regularly checked up on the boy to see if he was all right. A friendship had grown between them and during one of their talks Elladan and Elrohir had found out that Halbarad's parents had belonged to the Dunédain.  
  
_So few are left…_ The elf lord thought._ But__if Estel will talk to the boy… listen to him…_It was not his place to tell Estel about Halbarad's past. He had only just now told Legolas the bare details, but the humans had to talk with each other if they wanted to know who the other was.  
  
In the summons, Elrond had asked Halbarad to come and meet his human son. He had only said that the boy needed to meet an honourable human and that he hoped a friendship would form between them. Had he been so wrong to believe that could happen?   
  
He was interrupted from his musings when Estel continued his ranting. "What was that rude person doing in the other library? Why is no one keeping an eye on him, he could be planning something!"  
  
Elrond looked at the boy before him. "Not all men are like Nemo, my son. Your brothers and I have known Halbarad for several years now and they have often visited him or joined him out in the wilds. I invited him and I expect you to talk with him."  
  
"Just like last time, Ada?" Estel all but sneered. He immediately regretted it when he saw the sadness clouding the ancient eyes. Moving closer, Estel hesitantly laid his hand on his father's shoulder. "I am sorry, I did not mean it. Please forgive me, Ada."  
  
Elrond smiled wryly; Estel might say he did not mean it and the boy might even believe his own words, but they rang true. This was exactly how it happened last time, though he hadn't seen Nemo for a much longer time than the young ranger. "It is all right, Estel. You are right, but we have kept contact with Halbarad over the years we've known him. He is a good boy and if you would but speak with him you would see that. Give him a chance, that is all I ask."  
  
"I do not know if I can do that." Estel whispered as he moved away from the elf.   
  
"Give it time, Estel. You may change your mind."  
  
Estel left the study without speaking another word, never having acknowledged the other elves. He returned to his room and only came out when the summons came for dinner.   
  
~~~  
  
"Do you really think this is such a good idea, Ada? I know Halbarad is a good Man, but Estel is not yet ready." Elrohir asked, sitting at the dinner table next to his father – waiting for the humans and Legolas to arrive.  
  
Elrond sighed. His heart wasn't so sure that he had made the right decision, but his mind told him that inviting Halbarad had been for the best. "The longer Estel is allowed to get away with avoiding humans, the more difficult it will be for him to start trusting them. I thought long and hard on this subject and I think it is time…"  
  
"If anyone can show Estel that there is goodness and strength to be found in mankind, Halbarad can do it." Elladan was fiercely convinced of this.  
  
At that point, the elves were startled by the silent appearance of the young ranger. The Man stood at the door entrance with a smug smile on his face. It hardly ever happened that a human could sneak up on an elf; his time with the rangers had done him good. Halbarad looked at the Noldor elves and narrowed his eyes slightly – having overheard the last part. _What do they want me to do?_ He wondered. _If they mean my speaking to Lord Elrond's foster son, why the secrecy?_ For indeed, as soon as he had entered they had stopped speaking, a shocked expression on their faces save Lord Elrond, who ever maintained a calm face…  
  
Elrond stood up from his seat and gestured to the seat next to Elrohir. "Please, be seated. Now that you have arrived, we only have to wait for my son and prince Legolas to arrive."  
  
The look on the human's face seemed hilarious to the twins and they burst out laughing. Apparently, Halbarad wasn't all too pleased to meet those two again after the 'friendly' encounters before. He quickly hid his feelings; Estel had been right – he _was_ a guest after all and to speak or even think ill of one of his hosts and their friends would not be taken lightly. He gazed down at the object in his hands – he would return it as soon as the others had arrived.  
  
Elrond understood Halbarad's slight displeasure and shot a quick look at his sons, telling them to be quiet. "You have to forgive Legolas' behaviour. He is unused to humans save my youngest and…" The elf's voice died as he couldn't speak of what happened. Not now, not here. "I heard you have already met Estel?"   
  
Halbarad, glad that his displeasure was not taken as a slight, smiled wryly. "I did and it was the strangest meeting. If I may –" But whatever he had been about to say was interrupted as both Legolas and Estel entered.   
  
Halbarad noticed that the human still carried his sword and frowned. This was his home, yet did it ever leave his side?   
  
Estel hesitated when he noticed the ranger sitting next to his brother and he nearly wanted to turn around when he felt a slight touch on his elbow. Flinching from the feather soft touch, his eyes shot daggers at Legolas. The Mirkwood elf was non-perturbed by his friend's reaction and silently commanded Estel to sit next to Elladan.   
    
Now sitting directly opposite the other human, Estel nodded his head in acknowledgement and Halbarad returned the gesture. Legolas seated himself next to Estel, who again moved away so as to avoid contact.  
  
Halbarad noticed this with interest…  
  
~~~  
  
Conversation was light and mostly held by the Noldor elves and their human visitor. Estel and Legolas opted to listen, trying to discover any flaws in the Man's story and trying to judge him. Legolas, who had heard a little about the ranger, was willing to trust him if he judged him worthy, but Estel would prove more difficult to convince.  
  
During the meal the elves occasionally glanced at Estel to see how he reacted to Halbarad. Worry gnawed at their hearts when they noticed he ate even less than usual – instead moving the food around on his plate. Losing any more weight was something the young human could _not_ afford.   
  
Whispering softly, Legolas pleaded with his friend, "Please Estel, you need to eat…"  
  
Sighing sadly, Estel looked at the prince and whispered, just for elven ears, "I know, but I cannot. My stomach rebels even seeing the food. I am not at ease, my friend…"  
  
Smiling wryly, Legolas nodded. "I know… Will you be able to eat later tonight?"  
  
Estel grimaced before shaking his head. "No."  
  
Meanwhile, Halbarad had been stealing glances at the two friends and seeing the nearly full plate of Elrond's youngest son, raised his eyebrows in question. He didn't know what to make of his earlier encounter with the human, but the ranger could see that the human seemed to have a real problem with him being near. At first he had thought that the young Man suffered an attitude problem, but seeing the slightly haunted look and the incredibly pale face, Halbarad realized something was wrong.  
  
Hoping to break the ice between them, Halbarad offered Estel the object he had brought with him. "I believe this is yours," he said.  
  
Estel looked at the object, then at the ranger. All of a sudden, his breaths came quicker and a cold sweat broke out over his entire body. What meagre food he had managed to eat this day was working its way back, so quickly shoving back his chair, Estel ran away.  
  
Legolas shoved his chair back to follow his friend, but Elrond raised his hand. "Stay, Legolas. I will go to him. I am terribly sorry, Halbarad. Continue the meal, please." And with that, the elf lord moved towards Estel's room.  
  
Halbarad was confused. "Is he all right, Elrohir? Why did he react like that? Why are you all so worried about him? I could see that you watched him like a hawk the entire meal! Why?"  
  
Knowing the boy was not dense, the elves looked wryly as they were finally confronted with the confused human's questions. It was time to tell Halbarad at least some of what had happened.  
  
Halbarad, mistaking the looks for disproval, apologized. What was he thinking anyway? Questioning his hosts on matters most private! "Forgive me, my Lords. It is obvious that you do not wish to speak of it."  
  
Before an awkward silence could fall, Elladan raised his hand. "No, you are right that you want to know what is going on. It is only in your nature and besides, you should know some of why you have been called here. What did our father tell you?"  
  
Grateful that the elves would finally tell him, Halbarad leaned slightly over towards Elladan. "Only that he wished for his foster son and I to speak. Lord Elrond wishes me to show Estel what it is like to be human…"  
  
Elrohir smiled. "I guess you were quite surprised to arrive and finally meet Estel then? We could see you were not all too pleased about your first meeting!"  
  
Halbarad's cheeks flushed as he was reminded of his folly. Legolas' ears perked up at hearing the other human had been displeased to meet his best friend. He had seen Estel storm in and call this ranger a 'rude person', but what had happened between them?  
  
Halbarad sat up straighter, a grimace appearing on his face. "Our first meeting was not as I would have liked it to be, my friends, but I was hoping to break the ice between the two of us by returning _this_ to him." And he held up the book Estel had dropped earlier in the library. Helplessly, he raised his other hand to the door. "As you can see, it did not work out as I had hoped. His actions confuse me, but I think something happened to him, something bad…"  
  
"Yes." Legolas said, deciding to explain, "It was his first meeting with a human… A _friend_ of Lord Elrond," the prince all but sneered, "It is not our right to tell you what happened, but just know this: Estel was hurt terribly, both emotionally as physically by that man."   
  
Halbarad slowly nodded as if having a suspicion. "And now he doesn't trust humans anymore…" he muttered more to himself. _And this elf is his friend… _That explained the prince's attitude at _their_ meeting. The human didn't feel the distrust emanating off the blonde elf anymore and he took that as a good sign. Apparently the twins had talked with him about who he was.  
  
Elrohir softly spoke, urging the young ranger to hear the truth in his words, "It is no small thing we ask of you, but we trust you. If anyone can change Estel's mind about humans, you can do it."  
  
Cold blue eyes held his gaze as Legolas spoke, "But if he is hurt again, I will personally kill you."  
  
Halbarad slightly bowed his head. "Peace, prince Legolas. I will prove worthy of the trust you place in me."  
  
Legolas nodded, "See that you are."  
  
The elves and ranger reluctantly ate their meal in silence after that, wondering how Estel fared.   
  
~~~  
  
After the meal, Halbarad slowly walked to his room, enjoying the quiet sounds of the waterfalls and feeling safe; something that was always difficult when out in the wilds. The ranger was tired of his travels, but smiled as he could smell the scent of flowers drifting to him upon the gentle wind. A frown appeared on his face as he remembered what the elves had told him. _Estel was hurt by a man… the first human he ever met – no wonder he doesn't like my presence here!_ The young ranger closed his eyes as he thought of what had happened to him six years ago. Grief ate at his heart remembering the absent looks in his parent's eyes. He also had had a hard time trusting humans after that. If it hadn't been for the twin sons of Lord Elrond, he would most likely have become a bitter man himself with no regard for who or what he killed.   
  
When the twins had brought him to the rangers, they had stayed until he had felt more at ease with the men. And after that, the rangers had taken time to ensure the boy trusted them – quietly speaking to him and teaching the boy the ways of the ranger. Being with them and being turned into one of them had taught Halbarad that there was always good fighting evil.  
  
"And now to show _him_ that as well…" he mumbled.He remembered how close minded he had been just after his parents' death and that he had refused to listen to other people – even refusing to listen to Elladan and Elrohir. He sighed; this would take some time. Luckily the rangers didn't need him at the moment so he could spend all his time on Estel…  
  
Entering his room, Halbarad quickly undressed and put on his nightwear. Picking up the small book he still carried with him, he slipped into bed and started reading – a smile appearing on his face as he read the jolly verses.  
  
~~~  
  
Elrond had immediately headed for Estel's room where he found his son – hunched over a bowl in the bathroom. Great heaves shook the boy's shoulders and his breathing was still too fast. Slowly moving towards the smaller figure, the ancient elf made sure that Estel heard his footsteps before kneeling next to him – his hand hovering over Estel's shoulder.  
  
"I am so sorry, my son. I see now that it is too early…"  
  
Estel gasped for air as he tried to calm down, still clenching the bowl tightly in his arms. Elrond moved around – fetching a cloth and wetting it with water before kneeling again and gently wiping the cool cloth over the human's sweat beaded face. A small smile appeared on his lips as the boy didn't move away from him. His son had improved, but he still wasn't healed yet. Whenever Legolas touched him, the elf lord had noticed the daggers shooting from Estel's eyes. At least that reaction was some sort of an improvement – it was better than seeing the look of fear in those haunted eyes.  
  
"What was Halbarad doing with your book, Estel?" He questioned softly – however, he received no reply.  
  
Estel blinked his eyes several times and breathed in deeply. He was feeling dizzy from lack of air and stars were moving in front of his vision. He groaned softly as he could feel a major headache setting in. The cool cloth on his forehead felt nice and Estel let his eyes close, safe in his father's care.  
  
Elrond slowly rose, pulling Estel up with him. "Come Estel, let's get you in bed. This day has been stressful and tiring enough for you, you need to rest."  
  
Estel allowed his father to walk him to his bed, but his head shook in denial. He didn't want to sleep; with sleep came dreams and with dreams came faces and touches. No… he did not want to sleep.  
  
"Yes Estel. You need to rest, but first I will make you some broth. You need to get something in you and you know I will not take 'no' for an answer." The elf carefully sat Estel on his bed and moved to the clothes drawer, picking out a sleeping garment. "When I return, I expect you to wear this and be in bed, can you manage that or do you need my help?"  
  
Estel again shook his head, "Can… manage…" he whispered, his breathing hitching.  
  
Hoping that his son could indeed manage, Elrond quickly moved to the kitchens to fetch some broth, making a quick stop in the healing chamber for some herbs that would calm his boy. He knew about the nightmares – he didn't need to hear his son cry out in the night; the black circles under his eyes told the elf enough. Mixing the herbs in the broth, the worried father made his way back to Estel's room.  
  
He frowned when he saw that Estel was lying in bed, the ever present sword within hand's reach. The ancient elf had a suspicion that the Man kept a knife under his pillow as well, but refrained from saying anything about it. Now was not the time for it.  
  
"Drink this," the elf quietly ordered, "You do not need to fear your dreams tonight, Estel."  
  
Estel took the cup from his father's hands, but he looked suspicious of it. "I do not need this…"   
  
Elrond smiled wryly. "Estel, you have not been sleeping well. You need to rest. This will just calm you for tonight – I promise that you will not dream. Drink it."  
  
Estel sighed. Who was he kidding anyway? A night free of dreams and full of rest did seem inviting to the young Man. Knowing that no drinks made by his father ever tasted good, Estel quickly drank it, hoping his stomach would forgive him for the rough treatment it had endured. Holding his breath after that, he waited for it to come up, but luckily, it did not. Releasing a relieved sigh, Estel sank back in the pillow – nestling comfortably in the bed with some help of his father. Only minutes after he had drunk the broth, the boy's mind became fuzzy and his eyes slipped shut in dreamless slumber.  
  
Elrond sat next to the boy, waiting until he fell asleep and stroking the dark locks for a while after. He missed the comforting touches that they had exchanged before the incident. Estel found no comfort in them anymore, but the elf lord still did. It was difficult to see a loved one suffer so and not being able to comfort him save by using words… Curiously, Elrond lifted one edge of the pillows and his suspicions were confirmed when he saw the knife there.   
  
"It is too soon…" the ancient elf whispered again and inwardly cursed himself for his folly, "I am so sorry, Estel."  
  
~~~  
   

TBC in chap 2  
  
2nd A/N: I tried to look up how old Halbarad was and I even asked several people, but none knew it, so I went with the idea that he is slightly older than Aragorn.  
  
O yeah, if you would please push this little button here below and let me know what you thought of this chapter? I would really appreciate it!


	2. 2

Disclaimer: don't own them, I just really wish that I did. Sigh… They belong to J.R.R Tolkien.  
  
A/N: thank you so much for all your reviews, you won't believe the big smile I wore when I had read them. I think I even scared some of my colleagues… 'Replies' are at the bottom. Hope you enjoy this one!  
  
A big thank you for Cat for reading these two chapters beforehand and letting me know what she thought – I really appreciated it! :)  
  
~~~   
  
Chapter 2  
  
~~~  
  
It was late in the night when the twins quickly popped into the room to check on their little brother. Their father had not joined them in the Halls of Fire after dinner and neither had Halbarad. The twins had spent some time there – watching the warm, dancing flames for a while and listening to the singing of the other elves. Legolas had joined them as well – knowing Elrond wanted to be alone with Estel right now and that he would only make his friend feel more uncomfortable. The prince had smiled as he remembered happy evenings when the twins, Estel or he himself sang in these halls. The young human could sing remarkably well – moving the listener as if feeling the story themselves. Yet when the moon was high up in the sky the Mirkwood elf had retired to his chambers, leaving the twins behind.  
  
When the two Noldor elves snapped out of their trance like state some time after their friend's departure, they realized they hadn't seen Elrond ever after Estel's hasty flight. Knowing their father would still be with Estel, the twins decided to fetch him from their brother's room.  
  
And indeed, as soon as they opened the door they could see Elrond sitting next to the bed, looking at Estel. No light burned in the room, but their elven eyes were sensitive enough to see the quiet forms. The elf lord's eyes were slightly unfocused and the twins knew he was asleep. Elrond too had a hard time with what had happened to his youngest and he still blamed himself for allowing Nemo refuge in Imladris. Every night the elf looked up to the stars – finding comfort in the star of his father. It reminded him that eventually, all would be well again, no matter how bad things were at the moment.   
  
"Ada?" Elrohir whispered – careful not to wake the sleeping human. He walked closer to the older elf and gently shook him. "Ada?"  
  
Grey eyes slowly focused and took in the darkness of the room. Many hours had passed since he had sat down to watch his youngest. He looked at Estel and seeing that he was resting comfortably turned to Elrohir.  
  
"What happened, Ada?" Elrohir asked. He looked back to Elladan who had moved to light the fireplace – more for the comfort of the light should Estel waken in the dark than for the warmth it would bring.  
  
Elrond closed his eyes, still angry at himself. "It is too soon…" he quietly spoke.  
  
"It was not your fault, Ada," Elladan spoke up – his eyes fixed on the rise and fall of Estel's chest, mesmerized by the motion, "You are right in thinking it is time for Estel to meet humans. And Halbarad is a good choice…"  
  
"How did he react to…?" Elrond asked, wondering how the ranger had responded to the, for him, awkward episode.  
  
Elrohir snorted. "He is not a dense boy, Ada. He suspected something and asked questions."  
  
Elladan finished, "He had the right to know why he has been summoned and Legolas told him the barest details."  
  
Elrohir took it up again, "He understands more than what was said and may even be able to relate slightly to Estel."  
  
Elrond muttered, "Both were hurt by Men, indeed…"  
  
"So what happened to Estel, Ada? I have never seen him react like he did tonight!" Elrohir asked again.  
  
The ancient elf sighed, "I think the fear he felt at meeting Halbarad, at meeting another human, overwhelmed him…"  
  
"A panic attack?" Elladan asked.  
  
Elrohir slowly nodded, thinking it through. "Halbarad appeared without any warning – he was unprepared for it…"  
  
At this, Elrond wondered if perhaps he should have informed Estel about his decision to summon the other human. If he had, Estel could have prepared himself for the meeting. _Or he would have hidden himself away either in his room or elsewhere the entire time until Halbarad had left…  
  
_"Ada, it _was_ the right decision. You know as well as I do that Estel would have done everything in his power to avoid Halbarad if he had known of his coming," Elladan confirmed as if reading his father's thoughts.  
  
"Well, it is too late to change anything. Let Estel get used to the boy – Halbarad is not going anywhere for a while yet."  
  
The twins nodded and each held a hand out to their father. "Come, Ada. You need to get some real rest," Elrohir implored.  
  
But Elrond shook his head, nodding towards Estel, "He will not be pleased if he learned that we left him all alone while he was unable to defend himself should danger be near. That would be a step back in his recovery. No – I will stay with him this night. Go to sleep, Elladan… Elrohir. Tomorrow is a new day."  
  
The twins quietly did their father's bidding, hoping that the next day would be better. Before leaving the room, they quickly moved over to Estel and, seeing that he slept soundly, touched their hands to his cheek in a sign of brotherly affection.  
  
Elrond watched his sons leave and turned back to watching Estel – determined not to fall asleep again this night…  
  
~~~  
  
Elrond didn't ask Estel to meet Halbarad again after that – opting instead for his youngest to get used to the idea of having another human walking around in his home. In time, the young human would understand that Halbarad wasn't like Nemo. Elrond had had his own doubts for a while – was it a good idea to invite the young ranger, or would he turn out to be someone else as well? The elf lord had taken his chance and so far had not regretted it. It was unfair to compare all humans to the old Man – he had come to that decision long ago and in time, Estel would see it as well.  
  
A strained week passed in which Estel tried to avoid the ranger, something which put a great strain on his nerves. He couldn't believe that he had had a panic attack that evening at the dining table. _I am stupid._ He reprimanded himself. _Weakness is already in my blood, I need not prove my family of this. I need to be strong… I need to get over it!_   
  
The night his father had drugged him was the only time he had been able to sleep peacefully. He refused to be drugged again – fearing Halbarad might enter his room and try something. Estel knew that Legolas was secretly following the other human when he was not with him and felt somewhat comforted that his best friend kept an eye on the ranger. It was a foolish thing actually, having the blonde elf spy on the human, but it _did_ make him feel better.   
  
Usually when Halbarad was in the company of the twins would Legolas leave him be and return to Estel, telling him what the human had been up to. The youngest human listened intently to everything Legolas told him, trying to figure out what the ranger was up to. And as Estel avoided the other human, the Mirkwood elf didn't speak with Halbarad unless it were a few polite words spoken during meals.  
  
The twins could roll their eyes at the distrust they could still feel emanating from Legolas – it was diminishing, indeed, but it was still present. When would their friend finally accept that Halbarad posed no threat? Sometimes, at night, the brothers would seek out the Mirkwood elf and talk with him and bit by bit, Legolas started to believe in the other human… telling Estel so during their talks.  
  
With the knowledge Estel had gained from reports day after day, he dared to venture out of his room again without fear of encountering the ranger. Or rather, without fearing that during such an encounter something bad would happen. If it did, the other elves – Legolas in specific – would be nearby. And eventually it did happen that the two humans met each other when they were walking through the halls.   
  
The first time it happened, Estel looked long and hard at the human, determined not to run away like he had done twice already. Halbarad had nodded at him, hesitantly – not wanting to upset the boy by taking things too fast, before going on his way again. Estel quickly turned around and watched as the ranger moved around the corner. He waited a little while longer to be sure the human would not return the minute he turned his back.  
  
Heaving a relieved sigh, Estel also continued his path…  
  
~~~  
  
Legolas had been following Halbarad around for several days now and was convinced that the young Man was a man of honour – he could feel that trait radiating from the ranger now that he had freed himself of the bias that had lain in his heart before. The words they exchanged during meals became more and friendlier. Yes, his opinion was formed, the fair prince noted – now it was time to convince Estel that the other human was trustworthy.  
  
It was when the other elves had retreated to the Hall of Fire and taken the ranger with them that the two friends moved to Elrond's study where at this time they were assured of some privacy.  
  
"You cannot keep avoiding Halbarad for ever, Estel. It is not healthy and I think that if you gave him a chance, he would turn out to be a faithful friend," Legolas said as soon as the doors were closed.   
  
Estel, sensing this specific conversation had been coming, walked to the window – waiting for the elf to continue.   
  
"I followed him this past week and my senses tell me he is a good man. I sense no tricks in his behaviour – he does not pretend to be someone he is not. You know Elladan and Elrohir trust him and they too sense no deceit – they would tell you more if you but asked."  
  
Estel sighed, not turning to look his friend in the eyes. "I am afraid…" he whispered, not caring that he admitted this perceived weakness to his best friend. He wanted to trust again, but why should he dare to trust a complete stranger? He still had trouble allowing his brothers and Legolas to be near him, always slightly moving away when they came too close. If he couldn't deal with them – the ones he trusted more than anyone else in Middle Earth, how could he ever deal with other people?  
  
Legolas walked up behind him, his hand hovering over Estel's shoulder but afraid to touch him. Then something happened which the prince had not expected. Estel looked at him calculatingly after having sensed the hand before smiling gently. Then he slightly nodded – giving his friend permission for the first time to rest his hand on his shoulder again.  
  
Slowly, Legolas lowered his hand, his eyes never leaving Estel's face. His blue eyes twinkled at the trust the young human placed in him while he still felt vulnerable. "Ask them…" the elf implored, "you will be happy that you did."  
  
A silence fell in which Estel thought about it. The twins knew more about Halbarad and he would like to know their opinion of the human. Indeed Estel knew that his brothers thought the Man to be trustworthy, but it was difficult to accept it. Questions nagged him that would not be quieted now: how had they met each other? Why had they become friends? "All right… I will," he replied, curious to the story behind the ranger. Upon seeing the doubting look, his smile grew a little, "I promise."  
  
A small silence fell in which neither friend moved. "Uhm, Legolas?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Would you do me a favour?"  
  
"You know I will."  
  
Steeling himself for what he was about to do, Estel decided to get it out before he changed his mind, "Would you fetch the twins for me? I am sure they are still in the Hall of Fire."  
  
"Of course," Legolas replied and went to do his bidding. Estel was finally showing more improvement and he was sure that once his friend had talked to his brothers, things would begin to work themselves out. If all he had to do for this to begin was to fetch the twins, he would happily oblige to his friend's request.  
  
~~~  
  
Legolas quickly moved to the Hall of Fire, his eyes roaming the crowded hall until he spotted the twins. They were sitting next to the blazing fire, more enjoying the comfort of its warmth and light than needing it. Halbarad sat next to them and seemed to enjoy the heat. The human's eyes blinked as the meal before and the pleasant heat combined with the beautiful singing were trying to lull him into sleep.   
  
Elrohir noticed the efforts of the human to stay awake and didn't even bother to hide his smile, "Halbarad! If you are that tired you should go to sleep!"  
  
"I am not tired," the ranger tried to convince the twins.  
  
"He is just as stubborn as Estel sometimes!" Elladan said, a big smile appearing on his face as well.  
  
Legolas stepped up to the three, "It must be a human trait I am beginning to suspect."  
  
Immediately, Halbarad stood up and bowed slightly, "Good evening, prince Legolas. Please join us this fair night in our conversations."  
  
Legolas shook his head at the human, "No Master Halbarad, Elrohir is right. You seem to be asleep on your feet! Besides, I am afraid that I must steal your companions."  
  
Elladan frowned, "What is wrong?"  
  
Legolas held up his hands, "Nothing is wrong, there is just someone who would really like to speak with you right now."  
  
Halbarad tried to hide a yawn behind his hand before quickly excusing himself, "I am terribly sorry, my Lords, but I fear my mind has finally decided to agree with you. I will take my leave of you after all. I bid you all a good night."  
  
The elves nodded at the human and watched as he slowly walked from the room.  
  
Legolas continued, "Estel would like to speak with you two. He is finally opening up to the idea of having Halbarad around, but has questions…"  
  
The twins could see there was something more – there was a strange sparkle in Legolas eyes as if the fair elf was terribly proud of something, besides of what he had just told them.  
  
"There is something more," Elladan said, prying for more information.  
  
Legolas flushed as he realized his excitement was obvious and he felt a little silly for it. "I am afraid that I am making it more than it really is, but, it is just… Estel is improving… He even accepted my touch without glaring daggers at me!" Now he felt really silly for saying it out loud; it must only seem a small thing to others, but the twins didn't deny him his pleasure.  
  
Both Elrohir and Elladan smiled, "That is great to hear!" the older twin said.  
  
"That is indeed improvement," the younger twin agreed.  
  
Legolas smiled as well, "You should not keep him waiting for too long. He has just rediscovered his courage and it needs to be boosted before it wanes forever… He is waiting for you in Elrond's study."  
  
The twins nodded and stood up, expecting Legolas to come with them. Seeing that the prince was seating himself next to the fire, they raised questioning eyebrows at him.  
  
"He needs to speak with you two now. I will speak to him again tomorrow."  
  
~~~  
  
The twins entered the study and looked for their little brother. They could see him standing before the window, gazing out towards the horizon. Upon hearing the door opening, Estel spun around. He had to be strong now and make the next step.  
  
"Legolas said you wanted to speak with us," Elrohir hesitantly spoke, hoping his little brother hadn't changed his mind.  
  
Sighing deeply, Estel nodded and raised his eyes to meet first Elrohir's, then Elladan's. "You trust Halbarad…" he stated, waiting if the twins would deny this.  
  
Both his brothers nodded, waiting for what would come next.  
  
"You sense no deceit in him…"  
  
Elladan frowned, "He is a trustworthy man, Estel. We have known him for several years now and he has proven to be a good friend. We trust him with our lives…"  
  
"We would even trust him with _your_ life." Elrohir stated, getting through to his little brother just how much they trusted the other human. The twins were very protective of the youngest member of their family and they only trusted very good friends with safeguarding Estel.  
  
"Tell me what you know about him," Estel asked.  
  
Elladan shook his head, "We are really not the ones to tell you about Halbarad, Estel."  
  
"Please, Elladan… Elrohir. I need to hear it from you. I… it is… please?"  
  
How could the twins refuse their little brother?  
  
"We will not tell you everything," Elladan said.  
  
Elrohir finished his sentence, "You will need to speak with Halbarad if you want to know all the details…"  
  
"… but we can tell you this: when Halbarad was eighteen years old, he was very badly hurt by a group of Men…"  
  
"… marauders. He lost his family that day…"  
  
"… his friends…"  
  
"… and did not trust anyone after that. We found him and brought him here and after a real long time…"  
  
"… we got him to trust others again. He ended up with the rangers because of us and has stayed there ever since."  
  
"There is more to this story and things happened in between, but this is all you need to know for now: Halbarad was hurt by humans."  
  
Estel frowned upon hearing this. The ranger he had met had been hurt by humans? Then why did he set out to protect them? How was he hurt? What had happened exactly to his family? "Like me?" His voice was hardly a whisper and the twins had trouble hearing it, but they did and a sad look appeared on their faces.  
  
Elrohir moved closer to his little brother, hoping that his presence would rid Estel of the memories he was sure had come to the forefront of his mind again. "To this day he still has not told us all that has happened, but he tells us he was not hurt in that way. I believe him…"  
  
"As do I…"  
  
Elrohir, thinking that his brother was ready, but fearing how Estel would take his suggestion, braced himself for rejection, "Estel? How about you two talk with each other? Get to know each other a little better?"  
  
"You might even decide for yourself that Halbarad could be your friend."  
  
"You could talk to him in here and we would be close enough to hear you if you call for us…"  
  
The twins held their breath as they waited for their brother to answer them. They could see that a lot of emotions warred inside him, but in the end, a fire blazed in his eyes. Hearing that this ranger had a weak spot as well, Estel didn't fear the human as much anymore.  
  
Looking at his brothers, he slowly nodded.  
  
~~~  
  
The next day passed without any events. Estel finally slept more peacefully then he had in a while and when he woke up next, it was nearly afternoon. Surprised that no one had woken him he quickly got up and dressed. Picking up his sword and attaching it to his belt, the young human first walked to his friend's room, but upon finding it empty, figured the Mirkwood elf to be in the gardens.  
  
After learning a little more about the other human last night, Estel decided to no longer actively avoid the ranger; Legolas was right – avoiding him was of no use, but neither would he seek his company. Not yet. As he was on his way to the garden where Legolas usually practiced his archery, he passed Halbarad who was enjoying a quiet stroll through the halls again. Both humans stood still for a moment, judging the other and trying to look deeply into the other's eyes.  
  
Estel, deciding that he would not fear this human anymore in his own home, greeted the ranger, "Good morning, Master Halbarad."  
  
The other human actually looked surprised that Estel had greeted him, but quickly recovering he returned the greeting, "Good morning indeed, Master Estel."   
  
Not knowing what to say to each other after that, an uncomfortable silence fell. Estel nodded before quickly continuing his path. Halbarad by now had learned to take it slowly with Estel – conversations with the twins helping him understand their little brother better. This was the first time the younger man had spoken to him after their first meeting and though a hand had been covertly resting on the hilt of his sword, it was a start. No indeed; the small encounters would be enough for now. Once Estel had grown more comfortable with him they would talk. But what had changed the boy's mind?  
  
~~~  
  
Estel indeed found Legolas practising archery and from the concentrated look on the fair elf's face, he was using this time for thinking – his eyes not really seeing the target before him.  
  
"Just how long have you been out here, my friend?" Estel asked.  
  
Legolas released his last arrow – once more hitting the centre, or rather, splicing the arrows already shot into the centre. "Not too long, Estel. The sun has hardly moved positions from when I fired my first shot."  
  
"The twins told me some very interesting things yesterday." Estel breached the subject that had been last between them.  
  
"I suspect I know what they told you. What do you think now?"  
  
Estel frowned, not really sure how he felt about it, "I think I am happy that I spoke to the twins. At least now I do not fear Halbarad anymore," _Well, less anyway,_ "knowing that he has a weak spot…" If worse came to worse, he would exploit this weak spot as much as he could. Who ever said that 'words could not hurt a person' had no idea how wrong that statement was.  
  
"Do you plan on joining us at the table this night, Estel?" Legolas asked his friend. All the elves had seen the gradual improvement in the young human and after last night the prince hoped that soon things would be well again.  
  
Estel gazed at the fair elf who was patiently waiting until he had reached his decision. Every night after Halbarad's arrival, Estel had dined either alone if he was in no mood for company, or together with his best friend in either his or Legolas' chambers. This time the prince could see a change in his friend; the grey eyes looked determined about something.  
  
"Yes," the human replied, "I do not want to be afraid anymore, Legolas. It is time to face my fear… You and the twins tell me I can trust Halbarad, I think it is time for me to get to know him."  
  
Inwardly, Legolas beamed that his friend was ready to take the last step. He realized it took a lot of courage for his friend to speak with the other Man. "Indeed I think he is a man of valour and compassion. He would be a loyal friend if you decide him worthy."  
  
Estel grimaced – though he had set his mind about this, he still wondered if this was the right course of action. A small voice inside his head told him that it was foolish to trust the other human – foolish to trust any other human ever again. But there was another voice now that countered the first, dark voice and it was encouraging him to get to know Halbarad; if this human proved to be good, surely there must be others?   
  
~~~  
  
Estel and Legolas stayed out for some time after – taking advantage of the good weather to improve their skills with both bow and arrow and the sword. It was only when the shadows were lengthening that the two returned inside.   
  
The young human steeled himself for the dinner. He was determined not to react to the other human like he had done last time. Last time, he had been taken by surprise, but this time, he would be stronger! With that thought running through his mind, Estel quickly dressed for dinner before picking up Legolas. The Mirkwood elf was already waiting for him and they slowly made their way to the dining room. Every step that he took felt like he was dragged down by something heavy, but Estel was determined to do this.  
  
Then they neared the doors and the pair halted. Estel drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was glad Legolas and the others would be with him the entire time, or else he feared he would not be able to take this step…  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Legolas quietly asked, giving his friend a chance to back out – letting him know that is was not too late to change his mind.  
  
Estel opened his eyes and grey eyes fixed on blue, "I am sure. It is time, Legolas."  
  
Nodding, the prince waited for Estel to open the doors and enter.  
  
Elrond, the twins and Halbarad were already seated at the table – just like they had been last time. Estel looked everyone in the eye and nodded, "Good evening, Ada, brothers… Master Halbarad," before taking a seat across from the human.  
  
"And to you, Master Estel."  
  
As the food was served, Estel slowly ate a couple of mouthfuls – the unpleasant feeling of before was not as strong, but it had not disappeared entirely. He watched the human before him quietly, his gaze nearly unnerving the other.  
  
"You have been here quite some time now, Master Halbarad," Estel began, silently ordering his voice to remain steady, "How do you like Imladris?"  
  
"Please, call me Halbarad, Master Estel… As to answer your question – Rivendell is a very beautiful place. The peace and quiet of this haven really soothe my mind. It has been quite some time since I last was here."  
  
Elrond interrupted, "I hope the rangers will not mind your absence for a while, young Halbarad. I would like you to stay for some time…"  
  
The twins looked each other in the eyes and smiled. "I remember the first time he visited us," Elrohir said teasingly.  
  
"Surely you will not leave us as soon as you did back then, will you?" Eladan asked, knowing the response this would elicit from the ranger.  
  
For reasons Estel couldn't fathom, the human's face flushed a bright red. "I would stay for some time if I may, Lord Elrond," Halbarad spoke softly, "I wish to walk around these grounds and enjoy the peace." He didn't say anything about helping Estel, knowing that if he did, it would only be taken the wrong way by Elrond's youngest.  
  
"Do you regret it?" Estel asked him all of a sudden, but upon seeing the confused look, elucidated, "Do you regret becoming a ranger – not being able to enjoy peace but in a few places?"  
  
Halbarad smiled gently at that, "No, I do not regret my decision, Master Estel. Being a ranger may be dangerous and we may not be rewarded by those we protect, but it gives an inner peace and sense of satisfaction to give other people the chance to live their lives as we cannot."  
  
Estel snorted at that. It didn't make sense to him how the rangers could be so selfless, that Men could _be_ so selfless.  
  
Elrond was quite pleased to see Estel speaking with the other human. To him it was a sign that his youngest was taking the final step towards healing. The doubt of the younger human was understandable – even when he had been a young child Estel had not been able to believe many things unless he had seen it with his own eyes. "One day you will meet other rangers and witness their actions for yourself, Estel," the elf lord said sensing his son's thoughts, "Then you will see…"  
  
~~~  
  
Several days passed after that in which the two humans would talk more and more during dinner, keeping to light and meaningless conversation, but conversation none the less. The two were probing each other – as if detecting where the boundaries lay. _Now it is time_, Estel thought, _tonight I will speak to Halbarad._ He had already asked the twins if they would keep an ear out this night for him.   
  
The twins had immediately agreed – knowing how important this upcoming conversation would be. Only then had Estel asked the ranger if they could speak. Halbarad had been surprised at this request, but had agreed.   
  
And so it was, that after the Sun had laid herself to rest and the Moon was climbing into the sky that two humans were walking through the Halls of Imladris towards the library. Estel opened the door and waited until the ranger had passed, quickly looking behind him and whispering silently to his brothers, "Thank you for doing this for me…" before entering himself and closing the door behind him.  
  
~  
  
"It must have been a terrible thing to experience – your first meeting with one of your own kind and then he turns out to be a monster!" Halbarad said once they had entered the study and sat down. He was wondering what effect this direct approach would have on Estel, but unless they wanted to talk about inane things or uncomfortable silences forming, this was what he had to say…   
  
Estel bristled, angry that his family had told a stranger what had happened to him – no matter that they had told him about Halbarad as well. "They had no right to tell you!"   
  
Halbarad raised his hands, warding off the verbal attack, "Peace, my friend. The only thing I learned from your family and prince Legolas is that you were hurt by a man. They refused to tell me any more and they did not need to." Softening his voice, the ranger continued, "I could tell by the way you moved away from everyone… by the look in your eyes… I remember seeing a similar look in the eyes of my own reflection six years ago."  
  
"You were hurt as well they told me," Estel said, secretly hoping that this would irk the ranger.  
  
Instead, Halbarad smiled gently and shook his head, "I realize the twins would have told you this – it is only fair. Do not judge a race by the actions of one, Master Estel – that is something which took me a long time accept."  
  
Genuinely curious, Estel asked, "How did you? What made you accept?"  
  
The smile grew bitter as Halbarad remembered other times. "Your brothers and later – the rangers…" Seeing that the other still had questions, but was hesitant to ask them, he decided to tell Estel the entire story. They were standing on the edge of friendship and if they wanted to cross it, there should be no secrets between them. Maybe telling this would help the boy in speaking about his own experience.  
  
"It happened when I was eighteen… My parents and I were visiting their friends in one of the villages up north… Some days later, a group of raiders attacked the village – killing everyone they encountered and taking everything of value," Halbarad closed his eyes as the pain of remembering returned, "I was seriously wounded trying to protect myself and a friend, but he and my parents were killed… I knew that not all men were good, but I became convinced that my previous life had all been a lie. I refused to remember my parents, our friends… They were dead, what did they matter?"  
  
The ranger stopped a moment, looking at Estel and seeing that the boy was listening – seeming to recognize some of it. "Your brothers arrived with the Dunédain and killed the marauders, but it was too late – the damage had already been done. Some survived, but my world had collapsed. If it had not been for your brothers, I would have given up and died – I was already on my way, but…"  
  
Estel frowned, "They have a way of convincing people…"  
  
Halbarad smiled wryly, "Indeed they do. My memory of that time is hazy, but I remember wanting to die. They would not let me though… even took me to Rivendell where Lord Elrond helped in my recovery."  
  
Estel looked alarmed, immediately suspicious, "If that was only six years ago, how come I did not see you?"  
  
The ranger shrugged, "I do not know, but the only thing I clearly remember is the room in which I lay. Lord Elrond refused to let me out of the room for the longest time and when I decided I had recovered enough, I –" he finished with muttering something unintelligible.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I sneaked out of Rivendell." Halbarad quickly whispered, his cheeks flushing. "Elladan and Elrohir followed me when they found out and scolded me for leaving so soon. I refused to return to your father – not seeing why he would help me and wondering what was in it for him, so they took care of me and ensured that I would heal completely – working on both physically and mentally. They ended up travelling with me for several months since they refused to leave me alone. In that time they talked to me and told me stories, finally getting me so far that I would meet the rangers. And they stayed until I felt comfortable enough with them. The rangers also were very patient and took the time to learn me their ways. I became a ranger once I realized they really _were_ good people and have remained with them ever since… giving help to those in need."   
  
Estel shook his head, confused. "Why would you protect other people? I have heard how _grateful_ they are towards rangers – even going so far as to treat them as villains!"  
  
"It was not always like this, Estel, but the people have forgotten who we really are. They fear what they do not know and we are unknown to them. But they live their life like they always have – unaware of the dangers that lurk around the corner every day. That is the reason why we do what we do," Halbarad replied. Then thinking of something, the ranger's face lightened, "Please follow me, my friend."  
  
Uncertainty appeared in Estel's gaze, but upon seeing this, Halbarad reassured, "I want to give you something – it is in my room. Do not worry – I am sure the twins would still hear you if you call for them."  
  
Now it was the younger human's turn to blush – indeed Halbarad was not dense. This made Estel wonder whether the other human had known about Legolas following him around as well.  
  
"It is all right, I think it is very courageous of you to speak with me in the first place after…"  
  
"… after Nemo." Estel finished, surprising himself that he spoke of it so openly to someone he was only newly befriending.  
  
Halbarad nodded, "Like I told you, it took me a very long time before I started trusting other people again, so I can understand your caution." The ranger rose, asking with a hand gesture if Estel would follow.  
  
Estel once again forced himself to stand up and follow the other Man, comforted by the idea that he had three elves watching out for him…   
  
~~~  
  
Once in Halbarad's room, the young ranger walked to his bedside table and grabbed the small book he had been reading this past week. Holding it out towards Estel so the younger one could see it, Halbarad waited until the other accepted it.   
  
"Rangers make it possible for people to live their lives, unaware of the dangers that lurk… unaware of the ever growing shadow. Halflings do not even know we exist or protect their borders and no gratitude is ever given from any side, yet the Dunédain are happy to have it remain that way. It is something we can never have for ourselves anymore, this blessed bliss, but that makes it all the more precious if we can give it to others…"  
  
Slowly, Estel's hand reached towards the book. Quickly reading the title, the boy saw it was the book he had dropped what seemed so long ago. This time, his hand closed around the small book and he hugged it to his chest – remembering old times.  
  
"I hope you do not mind, but I read some of it. The author is a Halfling, is he not? The style is so different from what I know – so merry as well…"  
  
Estel smiled slightly, in all of their conversation he had sensed no deceit and after hearing what had happened to the young ranger – being trusted with that sensitive information – he even felt he could relate somewhat to the other man. "He is – he passed through here several years ago when I was only ten years old," Estel shook his head, "You would not believe the company he kept!"  
  
Curious, Halbarad raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Dwarves…" Estel answered the unspoken question, "he was in the company of dwarves."  
  
It was hardly possible that Halbarad's eyebrows climbed up any higher to his hairline, but they did. "Elladan and Elrohir never told me this!"  
  
Both humans were glad that this final step had been taken. Estel finally started to realize that Halbarad could be trusted and the light-hearted conversation worked to break the ice that was slowly melting between them.  
  
Estel inclined his head, "They were not in Imladris at the time and the party left within the month, but when they came back and I told them, they would not believe it. They would not believe that Ada allowed dwarves of all creatures to enter our home!"  
  
_"And still cannot!"_ A muffled voice sounded from behind the closed door.  
  
Smiling, the two humans silently walked over to the door before opening it without warning.  
  
Estel raised one eyebrow, eerily imitating their father when the young ones had been caught doing something they shouldn't do.   
  
Three elves stood near the door, trying to look innocent but not succeeding. Apparently the elves had been too eager to find out how the conversation between the two humans would go to wait for Estel's call – instead deciding to eavesdrop next to the door!  
  
Legolas stammered, "Uhm… I was just – passing by!"  
  
Elrohir scowled at him – so much for sticking together! "And we were just –"  
  
Estel held up his hand, forestalling any excuses that would roll from their mouths. "It is all right, brothers," he said, including Legolas into this statement with a look to the fair haired elf. "I appreciate your concern." Yes, his family would always be there for him. He looked at the other human and though it would still take some time, he was starting to trust the Man. Perhaps they could speak some more about all kinds of things – humans, being a ranger… friends…    
  
A big smile appeared on the young human's face as he could see it now: all would be well again.  
  
~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~    ~~~              
  
_Epilogue  
  
_Many talks took place after that in which Estel opened up more and more to his family and his new friend. The young human improved remarkably well and everyone could see that the haunted look in his grey eyes diminished as time passed. Conversation became less forced and slowly, the bantering of old started again.   
  
Halbarad and Estel, seeing in the other the possibility of a life-long friend, took time to get to know each other better. Many a night they could be found sitting near the warmth of the blazing flames in the Halls of Fire and speaking to each other of things in the past – both good… and bad. Estel listened to the stories Halbarad had to tell about the rangers and – not blinded by his hate and fear for men anymore – became fascinated with them. Light conversation replaced the dark thoughts that threatened to take over and finally, complete trust was given and received from both parties. Estel vowed that when he had come of age, he would join his new friend and become a ranger himself. A friendship had been created which would last for as long as they both lived…  
  
~~~  
  
**THE END  
  
  
  
  
**~~~  
  
A/N2: As you see, I sort of 'skipped over' certain things because I didn't think them necessary in this story. I hope it didn't come across as _too_ hasty…?  
  
  
Replies  
  
**Purplefluffychainsaw**: Nice name by the way… Thank you for you lovely reviews – you don't suck at them, honestly! *blushes at the compliments, a huge smile on my face* Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!  
  
**Strider's Girl**: Thank you, thank you! I must say, I am hoarding you stories for when I have time to read them, so when I have I will leave a review for each of them. (I sneak read a few lines and I must say they looked very promising) Don't hold your breath however – bad for your health, not breathing; I couldn't be hold responsible to deprive others who are 'in the boat' with reviewing to be stuck on a cliffie forever! :D  
  
**Sr**: Sorry to have kept you waiting for so long before I posted the first part; I was just swamped with work… I hope sincerely that you don't think this second part to be 'too fast' if you get what I mean. I tried not rush it…  
  
**grumpy**: *Blushes at the compliment…* 'wonderful'huh? *turns even redder* Yeah, I just thought there was something missing and I know myself how I hate it when I am left with a 'sucky feeling'. Great you liked the book thingie, read and you will (have) see(n)…  
  
**Elven kitten**: Thanks for the review – let's see if I brought a happy ending this time, huh?  
  
**Elf Girl**: Great you liked the previous chapter – I hope you are happy with how this one has turned out to be…  
  
**Coolio02**: Hi there! Thank you so much for the reviews you sent me… Hope I didn't make you wait too long for this one!  
  
**Kathleen LaCorneille**: Ah, le francais il y a un tres long temp après pour moi… Sorry for butchering your language, I've only had it for about 2 years and that was about 6 years ago! I'm glad you like my stories and are able to understand them. I know I wouldn't be able to read French, so… You're doing it the right way to learn English, you know – read what you like and you will get better yourself. That's what happened in my case as well…  
  
**Charina**: Hello there! Wow – so you just keep reading IBS again and again huh? Great that you like it so much – I just read it again to remind myself what it was all about and I tell you – I grimace at my writing there at some pieces. *shivers* Thank you so much for the very nice compliments – they make me feel great. And I'm glad to know that I can move people to tears with my fics. Hope you like what has become of this!  
  
~~~  
  
Would you please touch this little button below again so that I can frighten the people at work with my huge smile?  :D Thank you!


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